Monthly Archives: January 2012

I had hoped to post every day of my mini-sabbatical/vacation. That didn’t happen.

One of the subjects I have tried to give some thought to- in the midst of dealing with some car repair issues, a death in the church family, and the tasks that needed to get done- is what is the role of a pastor. Over 30 years ago I began serving as pastor of First Baptist Church, Allyn WA (which unfortunately ceased to exist a couple of years ago). I spent my mornings in the office, afternoons visiting church families and prospects, and evenings trying to keep up with seminary class work. It was a rural church and I did spend lots of time in the car driving from church family to church family to visit. Then, after 6 years I moved to Salem to pastor Southern Hills Baptist Church (which recenlty changed their name to Skyline Baptist Church). It was a metropolitan area, and a church with a huge internal dysfunction that was several years old. I struggled there, but again found myself spending mornings in the study and afternoons trying to make visits (though drop in visits were difficult because in  most families both spouses worked…). So, 20 years ago I moved to Winston (a town of around 6,000, and a ministry area with about 15,000 persons). Again, I spent mornings in the study and tried to make some visits a couple of afternoons each week to church families. Drop in visits were hard due to distance and work schedules- at that time many of the bread-winners were on shift work…so visiting was a challenge). About ten years ago I found myself deeply involved in the community. No longer were mornings protected. I spent many, many hours in meetings- with community leaders and city leaders working a a variety of projects. 

Last year I was given a month’s sabbatical (January 2011). The first 8 or 9 months of 2011 went well. The fall and early winter (i.e. Christmas) season was a challenging time. Some issues in the church – nothing major, but when one is tired even a small problem seems large- and some personal challenges completely drained me. So, here I am with a few days left of a vacation given to me by my deacons. 

I need to redefine what it means to pastor. My responsibilities go far beyond the walls of the building. As a matter of fact, I am the longest tenured pastor in Winston. As such I have become the go-to guy when some a community needs a ‘person from the faith community.’ I am no longer able to spend mornings focused on message preparation and study. I juggle meetings, preparation time, and other demands as best I can. However, none of that really answers the question: What is my role? What are my responsibilities? 

So, still trying to discover what it means to be a pastor after a twenty year tenure…One thing I MUST do…spend more time in the WORD of God. Leading must be from the pulpit as well as from the multitude of meetings. Visioning must come from the pastor…not the leadership team. Hearing from God must start with me. 

My challenge: How to arrange my schedule so that I can maximize my time in the Word, yet be in the places I need to be, and to represent my community, my church, and of course, the Lord as He gives opportunity!

Last night as I was reading in Mark 6 I was challenged by Jesus’ instructions to the disciples. He asked them to feed the 5,000 men and their families. Of course they had no idea where to find food for that many people (Mark 6:37). In vs. 38 Jesus asked them a question and gave an instruction: “How many loaves do you have? Go look.” It was the instruction that stopped me in my tracks. “Go look.” When I am confronted with responsibility I rarely look to see what resources are already in place. I rarely think of asking others for assistance. When the disciples looked, they found a boy who was willing to share all he had. Jesus took what they had and multiplied it…so that everyone had more than enough.

Here is what caught my eye: Our first instinct is to catalogue all that we don’t have. God’s directive is for us to open our eyes and see what He has already provided and allow Him to take care of stretching whatevever we have to offer.

May God help open my eyes to go look and offer Him all that I find. He can deal with multiplying and insuring that there is enough to go around.

OK. I missed a day. A couple of things I am learning—1. I need to redefine my role as pastor. Things have changed over the past 30 years (duh!) and my role as pastor has to change. I am praying through some changes I may propose to my deacons and leadership team next month regarding some changes. 2. I struggle to receive God’s love. There, I’ve said it. I am asking God to reveal to me barriers that I have built that keep me from experiencing the full love God has for me in Christ. 

I think these two issues will help me avoid the traps I so recently barely avoided. 

Already God is helping me discover several issues that have created the stress and pressure in my life the last few months. Today, as I read 1 John 3:16, “This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers” I was challenged to ask myself- how much of what I have taken on is laying down my life because God gave me the direction and how much of what I have taken on is because I thought my being busy and overcommitted was a godly thing to do? 

I am also learning that waiting is more important than ever. I have so many dreams and visions that I sometimes (probably far too often) am too far ahead of those God has called me to lead, and that I have strayed too far from God’s paths for me (see Psalm 25:4-5).

So, as I continue to rest and read and pray,,,let’s see where God wants to take me; and where God wants to lead His people in Winston that gather as Community Baptist Church- the most caring and godly group I know!

As I look over the past few months a couple of things are clear. 1. I want everything to be perfect. When it is not, when others fail to measure up to a standard even I can’t measure up to, I get frustrated and snap at those around me. 2. Somewhere along the way I stopped praying. Oh, I could pray a passable prayer over a meal, even lead a decent pastoral prayer. But somewhere along the path I stopped talking to God. More importantly I stopped listening. 3. I allowed the demands and desires of other people to dictate my calendar and establish my priorities. I stopped listening to God’s direction – Oh, I continued to read God’s Word (it is after all on my official what Christian’s do list). But I read to check it off my list, not to hear what God had to say about my life, my time, my responsibilities.

So, where do I go from here? I want to listen again. I want to hear God’s Word speak to me- not just so that I have a message to share, but so that I can nurture and nourish the relationship He wants to have with me.

I am glad I have two children. Just yesterday we sent off our youngest (daughter) to pursue her dream of living and working in Washington DC. Almost ten years ago we sent off our oldest to the United States Air Force. Now he is in Afghanistan, serving a six month deployment while his wonderful wife holds down the home place in Pensacola FL. 

I am glad I only have two children. Even though our daughter moved out to college some 8 years ago, and then into her own apartment about 3 years ago, it was hard to let her go on that plane yesterday. I thank God for my kids on a daily basis and pray that God will continue to use them as they pursue the dreams He has given them. But, boy, I’m glad I only have two kids to set free! 

I know a little of how my folks and my wife’s parents felt some 35 years ago when we boarded a Greyhound bus with three boxes of clothing and possessions to serve the Lord here in the Northwest. Of course communication is certainly different. I was on facebook with my son for a while today, my daughter just texted my wife on her phone, but knowing they are no longer driving distance away is still hard. So, again, thank God I have two children, but thank God I only have two children!